Five years ago, when we, two White adoptive parents, sat together to decide how to grow an organization committed to serving adopted children of color, our goal was clear. In order to better serve adopted children of color, we wanted to build a staff and board that would reflect our constituencies, offer multiple cultural perspectives and represent the entire triad.

Five years down the road, we have made excellent headway towards that goal. Our organization is multicultural and includes representatives from all sides of the triad. During these five years, we have discovered that there are both benefits and challenges intrinsic to this kaleidoscope of perspectives. But as with a kaleidoscope, each moment and movement blends and re-blends this fluid mosaic of various perspectives, identities and experiences into new, unique and dynamic patterns.

Pact's staff currently consists of Beth Hall, Co-Director, a Caucasian adoptive parent of two children (one Latino, one African American) and sister to an adopted adult; Gail Steinberg, Co-Director, a Caucasian adoptive parent of four children (Korean, biracial, Caucasian and African American); Marta Barton, Adoption Coordinator, an African American birth mother to two sons, one placed for adoption, one whom she is parenting; Liza Steinberg, Adoption Consultant, an African American transracially-adopted adult who has reunited with some members of her birth family; Michelle Carrera, Adoption Intern, a Latina birth mother who placed her son for adoption.

When the box arrived, the package was in disarray. On the wrapping paper were the words, "Happy Birthday, Justin," and "I love you." The plan called for Pact to forward the package to Justin's adoptive family. It seemed easier to re-wrap the whole thing to protect the precious cargo inside, but Liza said "no." Liza recognized that the written messages from his birth mother would have great importance to the son she had placed for adoption. Liza remembered her profound and lifelong yearning for concrete evidence of her connection to her own birth parents. She was angry at a system which gave her social summaries and medical information but not the bits of handwriting or demonstrations of love she would have treasured the most. Consequently, when it came time for Pact to send along Justin's package, both the precious contents and its covering were delivered intact.

When Grandma repeated the story about the friend who had described her granddaughter as a "nigger," the group of mostly White adoptive parents and extended family members at the workshop sat in stunned silence. Though awkward and embarrassed in the face of the story and its difficult subject, the White people in the room began to consider what is means to be the target of racial slurs. As Black women, Marta and Liza were able not only to speak to the workshop's participants about dealing with racial slurs, but to advise Pact's White staff members about effective ways to handle racially-charged workshop situations. They saw not only the overt racism inherent in the epithet assigned to the child, but also the assumptions and more subtle racism suggested in several of the group's responses. This staff diversity allowed Pact to respond to the group at its most difficult moments, providing essential insight and guidance to parents of children of color, children who will continue to experience both overt and subtle racism.

When the adoptive parents called Pact after placement to inform us that their son had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, we were devastated not only for him but also for Carmen, his birth mother. She had worked so hard to do the right thing for her son and find the perfect family. She had kept all of her prenatal visits and stopped smoking throughout the pregnancy. Would she feel guilty or blame herself? How would this change her feelings about the adoption? Marta and Michelle strongly advocated going directly to Carmen. They had personally experienced adoption professionals' tendency to "protect" the birth parents from difficult information and understood that, ultimately and unavoidably, this practice disempowers birth parents and perpetuates the myth that they are stupid or uncaring. In learning of the diagnosis, Carmen was given the opportunity to tell the adoptive parents that other members of her family had been misdiagnosed for cerebral palsy because of a family trait of short-term, non-threatening tremors which commonly occur in three-month-old babies within their family. This essential information enabled everyone involved to rest assured about the baby and the adoption. Baby, his adoptive parents, and Carmen are all doing extremely well.

When Sally and Joe heard from Sonia about her current pregnancy, they were far less enthusiastic than she had expected, and Sonia wondered why. After all, they knew how her life had changed in the four years since she had placed her second daughter with them for adoption. They had participated in her wedding to Calvin, and their open adoption relationship had blossomed over the years. Sonia called Pact to talk about the coldness and lack of enthusiasm she continued to receive, especially from Sally. Beth's and Gail's experience as infertile women who had become parents through adoption provided helpful insight into Sally's inability to rejoice fully in Sonia's current pregnancy. Personally familiar as they were with the sense of loss that comes from being unable to give birth and enjoy the emotional connection with a child that pregnancy can offer, Pact staff were able help Sonia understand Sally's feelings at Sonia's news. Once Sonia understood Sally's pain, she was able to establish a stronger connection to Sally.

Having a multicultural and full-triad staff has had a greater impact on Pact's work than we could possibly have predicted. Because each of us has had personal experiences that mirror aspects of our clients' lives, we have often explored and resolved the same issues they are confronting. This personal connection puts us in a unique position to anticipate and understand the deeper issues of adoption and race as they affect the families we serve.

This diversity of perspective has been both stimulating and sometimes a bit overwhelming. It can be complicated to determine whether a given point of view reflects one's place in the triad and can be considered somewhat representative of the group, or whether it reflects personality and thus must be considered more individualistic. Further, it can be a burden to find yourself serving as a group's representative. And there are risks that come with identifying oneself as a member of a group; each of us has found herself most distressed by selfish or unethical behavior on the part of a client who holds the same place in the triad or who belongs to the same racial group. Counter-transference is hard to avoid with those who "represent" us. But the more we interact together, the more we move beyond our obvious differences and see subtle variations in perspectives that shape our lives and thinking. Working in this way has made for enormous personal growth - not always easy work, but rewarding beyond measure. Sounds kind of like adoption - hard, painful, rich and expansive, all at the same time.

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http://www.pactadopt.org
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