Pact, An Adoption Alliance Pact's Favorite Books

Why Reading Matters

Davis is an African American six-year-old with white parents who rarely asks questions about having been adopted. Recently, he and his mother read Did My First Mother Love Me? (Kathryn Ann Miller, Morning Glory Press). "I wonder." said his mother as they read. "Why did she ask if her first mother loved her?"

"Cuz she wants to know. Maybe she didn't."

"Why would she think that her first mother didn't love her?" mom asked.

"Well, cuz she didn't keep her," said Davis, in a tone that implied "isn't that obvious?" "Hmm."

Said his mom. "Let's keep reading and see."

After they finished the book, his mom said gently "I guess her first mother really did love her after all." Davis nodded thoughtfully, and then said "Why didn't my birth mother write me a letter?" "I'm not really sure, honey. Are you wondering whether she loved you?" Davis looked down at his hands and nodded. "I know she loved you very much." his mother said. "Do you want me to tell you that story about the first time I met her?" David nodded again. Even though he'd heard it before, he seemed to be listening more intently this time as his mother told him about the "happy/sad" tears. How happy his birth mother had been that she found a good family for him, but how sad she had been to let him go.

Though Davis had never actually spoken about his feelings on adoption before, he had heard his parents talk about it with his sister and as a general family topic. His mom told him she could understand why he might wonder about whether his birth mom loved him, but she knew that she loved him very, very much, After they talked, Davis got up and spent ten minutes searching his room for his copy of Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born (Jamie Lee Curtis, Harper Collins Publishers). Mom and Davis cuddled up in their favorite reading chair, finding particular pleasure in the comfort of the story's repetition of the child's command "Tell me again . . . ."

When he saw his own feelings in a fictional character, Davis found a way to address some of his deepest concerns. He is certainly not alone is discovering that books can provide a means of expression when direct communication is too threatening. It is sometimes surprising to discover that both the universal and the unique can be found in just about every human situation, aspects that differentiate it from any other experience and elements that link it to the essentially human. In reading books reflecting the world's great variety of lives, ideas, attitudes, beliefs, histories, all readers (young and old) discover that within the great differences, there are tremendous commonalities.

Just as most of us are gratified to discover characters who resemble us, whether in appearance or attitude or background or circumstance, adopted kids of color love books that include adoption, children of color as well as other types of diverse families or kids dealing with differences. They revel in characters who resemble them in obvious and subtle ways. For children like Davis, finding these similarities can be an exhilarating and transformative event.

And not only can books parallel our experience, they can lead us to worlds otherwise unknown, offering us insight into unfamiliar ways, introducing us to new points of view. By exposing our children to the endless varieties of human relationships, we teach them not only about accepting others but about accepting themselves as well. So, in seeking books for your family, please consider those stories that differ from your family's experiences -- of adoption history, cultural and racial identities, family life -- as well as ones that echo and reflect it. Reading can change our hearts and minds, intrigue and challenge us, make us laugh at ourselves. We hope Pact's Favorite Books will help you fill your homes with the diversity, wonder, and beauty of books.

We also hope that you will consider purchasing these books through Pact. The books that Davis read with his mom, as well as many others, are available for sale through our online store. We know there are many ways you can purchase books online at a discount. But when you buy through Pact you not only get wonderful titles, you are also helping to support our work serving children of color touched by adoption and their families. Every dollar of the profits from book sales goes directly back into Pact's ongoing support services for adoptive families.

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